Saturday, June 26, 2010

Love, Freedom, and Fishy Crachers

These past few days, I have been struck by how much God loves us. He gives us livelihoods, families, friends.
Right now, I am especially thankful for my friends. One in particular has made me realize that I have been blessed beyond measure. Her name is Casey Ruble.
For years, she and I have been friends. We have admirably weathered the storms that life has sent to shake our foundations, even bailing out water so we could still stand strong. The challenges that life and love and loss present to each of us is best handled with another person, and for me, that has often been Casey. I am privileged to say that I have also been her partner in dealing with life's problems, and I am thankful that I was there to help!

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Wednesday, June 23, 2010


It's been two days since my last post.
So, I'll reward your wait with my thoughts on what I consider to be one of my all time favorite topics: change.
Now, we all experience change constantly. Whether it's political, emotional, physical, spiritual, etc... our life goes through stages. We live in our parents house, then move on to a place of our own. We want to be veterinarians or artists when we're little, and can then change to something completely different in a heartbeat.
Me, I'm one of those people who desires such changes. I seek them out. I often create the change I wish to see in my own little world.
My most recent exploits have been writing, occupation, and appearance.

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Sunday, June 20, 2010

Father's Day Memories

Today is going to be a less reflective and more "blow by blow". But I have to say this to start off with: Today was one of the nicest days I've had in months. My dad and I didn't fight. Our family laughed and played and had a great time together with very little upsets. We went to church, me driving my car ("The Count" of Monte Cristo), who is just back from the body shop after that crash I was in. I had a very convicting time at church.(Here's a link to today's message. It's not really long, and I think you'd enjoy it and find something inspiring!! Eagle Creek Community Church FD Message)  Our worship band rocks!....literally. My dad's half-moon electric guitar (imported from japan no less, and only made in the mid 70's) looked great, and sounded even better! I got to see friends that I had missed last week because I was too sick/tired to go. I feel so loved when they give me those looks of joy at having me there. *heart melting* I love them so very much!

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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Old Friends

Today I was able to go to the open house of one Zach Heady. If you know him, you will realize why this was such a special time.
Years ago, I joined the first NCFCA speech and debate club in Indy called Indy Procla!m. Zach and his family were a part of it. Their friendship has meant a lot to me, and I'm happy to say that today was just a reminder of how blessed I am with friends. His older sister Julianne, plus Jenny Broadfield, Meredith Lockman and a few others from Procla!m, used to hang out together. We'd go to each others speeches, debate with and against each other, and just have fun.
Zach's younger brother, Joe, was my debate partner at one practice tournament. Our partnership temporarily strained our friendship after the rounds because I was irked by his absentmindedness when it came to reading the perfect closing to our case. We won all our rounds anyway, and probably because of his charisma at the podium *smile*. I had little to worry about.

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Friday, June 18, 2010

Bedside Stay

Today was just one of those days - the ones where I am barely conscious during it. My chest pain backed off last night, as did my racing heart. But all the muscles on the right side of my body tightened, from my toes to my head. The headaches from those "left/right" episodes are unbelievable. So, needless to say, I was kept to my bed all day. Moving only makes everything worse. *long sigh* But since I got some relief on the referral pain, there is no need to call Dr. Fetters. It's an unhappy truth that this kind of episode and headache combination is a common occurrence that I have become "used to". It is also one of these episodes that usually sparks the 2 week+ long headaches. It's even taking a lot out of me to sit here and type this update. I have to rest my left arm on one of my legs to keep my weight off my right side. My balance is also affected when my inner ear pulses with pain. It's quite an odd feeling, akin to an ear-ache, but "connected" to every other twinge in my body. Unique, but not pleasant at all.
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Kung Fu and Crazy Koalas!

So. I bet you asked your self "What in the world do Kung Fu and Koala bears have in common to warrant that title?". Here's the answer. Nothing. I just happen to get involved with both *grin*.
Last night, Matt, Sarah and I all went to see The Karate Kid. I'm am happy to say that it was not full of Eastern Mysticism, or "Kung Fooey" as my family says. It was instead filled with the lessons that "If like knocks you down, you always have the choice to get back up", "You are who you choose to be", "Hard work and discipline pay off", "Only use Kung Fu (violence, war, raised voices) to make peace. Do not incite conflict. Do not become greedy or self centered. And always show mercy." To me, those ideals are things that every person should heed and practice. I know that I sometimes have a hard time seeing the brightest side of things, choosing to act and be who I want to be (aka. who God wants me to be), not procrastinating and persevering, being less combative, selfish, and mean spirited. Put together, they make a pretty unhappy picture. Luckily, I try not to combine the majority of them. But when it does happen, *whistle* WATCH out. I can be scary.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Chlorine, 3D Printers, and Academics

Well. It's official. My brother Matthew is going to public school, entering as a Freshman. The thing is, we're all very excited about it. See, he's like my dad in that if a class it too easy, he doesn't see the point in even doing the work. My dad scraped by in classes in Highschool, only to be in the top 2% in the nation on the PSAT and SAT. 3 IQ points away from MENSA as well. Matt only gets passionate about building things and competitions. He will redesign lego sets to be more efficient, effective, and/or just plain cool. In Debate, or Speech, or Robotics, or Swimming, he pushes himself to win, or at least beat more people than he loses to.
Carmel, well, it offers both the academics that he needs, but the nation renowned swim team and a state of the art robotics, engineering, design, and IT labs and classes with a passionate teacher and good academics (They even have a SWEET 3d printer! OH MY GOODNESS!!! AHHH! I'm envious) got us hook, line, and sinker. How much better could it get? The only problem we have is the worldview taught in the Science classes. Evolution. But Matt's worldview is so conservative and Right wing, that he'll only be slightly mellowed. So that concern is pretty low on the list now.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Rain Drops, Godzilla and Puppy Dogs

"Woof!" The head of a small stuffed puppy peeked over my mum's arm as she smiled. It's head tilted, giving it a pitiful, plaintiff look. I grinned. Just second before I had held that same dog, only making it play peekaboo and Dance Crew *chuckle*. And all this while we're sitting through my mum's home taught math. It was all review, and we were in a slightly upbeat mood because of Michael, the upcoming swim meet for Matthew, and the rain that was threatening on the horizon. Matt was happy because he wanted the meet to be rained out. I was happy because it would mean another rain dance. And mum was just in a good mood...I don't know exactly why.

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Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Life, My Love, My Pain

I know that there are more out there that read this than are actually "following", and I bet that most of you know I have two medical conditions called Fibromyalgia and Vaso-vagal Syncope. That said, you most likely also know my story. But if you don't, I'm going to lay it out for you, in a brief way (hopefully). Because this journey that I have been on with these illnesses is part of who I am. And if you're reading this, I figure that you're entitled to the story. So here goes.

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Saturday, June 12, 2010

Dreams vs. Reality or The Sin of Self Justification

Famed British comedian and stage magician Tommy Cooper said, "Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone." While that is a humorous thought, and one that made me crack more than one smile, it illustrates a fundamental truth about humanity and how our minds work. Our dreams are made up of elements of reality, parsed together in a meaningful way, at least for our unconscious. It's only when we wake up that the dream seems strange. Our dreams will also try to cover up an unhappy truth by offering up a substitute (in this case, a marshmallow) to ease our state of mind. I mean, if I had woken up and found that my pillow was gone, I would certainly appreciate my brain trying to make it into a pleasant experience *laugh*.

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Friday, June 11, 2010

Let it Rain!

Do you ever wonder why the rain effects you so? For some, the pouring rain signifies the loss of sunshine. It brings with it darkness, worry, and trouble, making their day uneasy, or least leaves them feeling less fulfilled. For others, the sound of thunder booming on the edge of a storm system rushing forward makes their pulse quicken with excitement, their emotions a mix of happiness, calm, elation, and comfort. I am one of the latter. Storms, no matter their size or strength, make something great well up within me, and make my days immensely better. *slow smile* In the most basic of terms, the gray, undulating clouds calm my spirit, and put a smile on my face.

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Revealing Oneself

Well, here is is. My first blog post, at least in a few years and most certainly on this site.
I had never quite seen the full potential of a blog until this past year, when I encountered a number of them that my friends had started. The insights into who they were, how they were, and how they thought was fascinating. But more so, it was a way to stay accountable, much like journaling.

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