Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I COULD name this post something clever, but I don't think I will....

This morning I woke up at 8:00. I groaned, thinking I could have slept in til 9:00, as I had IV therapy at 10. But nooooo. My mum knocks on my door at 8:30 asking if I'm almost ready to go so we could be at the doctor's for the 9:00 appointment. No freaking way I was ready!! AH!!!!!
I sit there, panicked, for about 10 minutes. (I think my narcs had a bit to do with that part.)
Then I jumped up. NOT a good idea, ladies and gentlemen, especially when you don't have the energy, or ability to do so without feeling like you are being drawn and quartered. Just saying.
I hop haphazardly around my room gathering one sock, then pants, then a brush, then the other sock, then a book that I try to fit in my pants pocket with no success, then a shoe, then a pain pill (like I needed ANYTHING else to mess with my brain), then the other shoe.
Viola!! I...wait. I forgot a shirt. So I got a shirt. Next thing I know I'm wandering towards the kitchen, weaving back and forth, my hand trailing along the wall, my eyes blinking blearily and a stupid half-smile plastered on my still "not-quite-with-it" face.

After a short car ride with the Glockenspiel song playing from my indie music mix, we get to the doctor's. I weave my way on up to the second floor, making sure I push the elevator button (Mine! No touchie!!). All the nurses just look at me and smile. The receptionist says "Hey! It's Rachel!" and points me out to Marie, a nurse who's walking by. Marie just smiles back at me, says Hi!, and heads on her merry way. I just grin slightly. Everyone knows me here. We don't even have to sign in anymore. They just wave us into one of the three main waiting rooms and have me sit down. Fine with me! My main nurse Amy walks by, says that Dr Fetters will be in shortly, and that she'll take us back to get me hooked up soon. Okey-dokey. Tiffany, another nurse and the one who drew my blood yesterday walked by and gave me a little wave. I just smile back. "Smile and wave boys. Smile and wave".... XD
Eventually Amy takes me back. I'm expecting to see my doctor standing by the IV drips, but the man I see is different. Either Dr. Fetters looks REALLY different this morning (meaning he was less bald, had a mustache, wore more professional, business suit clothing, and liked his smart phone), or it wasn't Dr. Fetters.
I was right about the last part.
His name was Andy. He was nice. He was showing my nurse Amy how to stick me with a new needle. He was training her on their new IV therapy equipment. He was using me as the first patient in the whole Health and Wellness Center to experience the new IV catheter and injection system.
I smile.
"Smile and wave boys. Smile and wave....."*whimper*
Amy says "Biiig stick!"
Andy pokes me with a big needle.
I smile.
Amy places her hand on my arm as I wince slightly.
"You okay, Dear?" Amy asks
"Yes". I Smile. *AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! 0.o....ouchie!*
Andy shows her how to pull the needle out from the catheter, tape it down, and what it does to the patient's arm when you move the catheter. >.< Yeep!
Me no likey much!
Okey-day. Whatevs.
I'll deal.
An hour and 20 minutes later, I was done. The drips had stopped. My left arm was sore from the IV, which made my whole left side sore as well. My chest was tight. It hurt to breath. My heart hurt. My head pounded. I felt dizzy. The darn stupid chair's foot rest wouldn't go down. I am pulled out of the chair. Graceful? Not. They ask me how I am.
I Smile.
I wave to the nurses wandering in and out of the rooms doing their jobs. They wave back.
I Smile.
I say goodbye to Amy.
I smile.
I leave the office.
I smile.
I get to the elevator.
I smile.
I push the buttons.
I smile BIG.
I get to the car.
I smile.
I turn on the end of the Glockenspiel song.
I smile.
I get home.
I die.........

And  here I am.
Smiling despite myself and my apparent deadness.

And do you know what my doctor's last words to me were?
"See you next week! We're going to do this twice every week for a month or two!... *pause*
Have a good day!"

*NOT smiling*
I might just go smack a chipmunk.



Mizz Ali said...

ugh, I hate IV's . Grrrr *evil glare at the thing that keeps me up at night*

Hope you feel better soon...hmm, you might just get used to it! :P

Rae Hitchings said...

haha :) Yes. I dearly hope I do get used to them. ^_^

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