Sunday, September 19, 2010

You, Love, Priorities, Prayers, and GOD

Hey all. I'm working on my very long update and "inspirational" post about Saturday and things I have been learning, but right now, I have only one thing to ask.
Yeah. Things aren't going well. I couldn't go church. I collapsed outside my door this morning, and had to wait to gain enough energy to stand back up, open my door, and make it to my bed before I collapsed again.

But despite all this, and knowing I wasn't going to be "outside mask" ready to cover up my pain, Casey was kind enough to spontaneously stop over this evening. We sat together, apart at first, then creeping closer until she was right next to me with my head on her shoulder and my arm looped through hers. I hadn't realized how much I needed close (proximity and relationally) friend time where we could both laugh, talk seriously, talk romantically, and sit in complete companionable silence. Where she would hold me, or comfort me, and look at me with unconditional love in her eyes. I was just in workout pants and a wrinkled shirt, and had slightly unkempt hair. I wasn't "peoples ready". But she didn't care. She just wanted to come for me, and to make me feel better.

And she succeeded. I feel so content and loved. To be able to lay my head on the shoulder of someone who loves me for who I kiss them on their cheek and have them turn their head to me with a loving talk for hours, make memories, reminisce, and make each other's days just a bit brighter....that's what I needed. And that's what friendship is about.

I don't have many friends that come do that with me. Most of my friends are freaking amazing, yes. But I would like to have more like Casey, who will come over and do all that for me, not expecting me to be happy all the time, or pain free, or "bouncy without side effects", you know? Just expecting ME.
She's a rare and wonderful breed though, so it might be hard to find them =P

Still. It was wonderful. And it is a good example of what my motto and creed for friendship is. For me, it means that I, as a friend, will sacrifice all I have for them. I will do anything for them. I will love them unconditionally.
Most importantly: If they need me, or want me, or could use some encouragement, I will put down whatever I am doing to go help them. I don't care if I have 6 exams in the morning. I will spend 4 of my 8 hours of "study time" talking on the phone with them, because that's what friends do. I will take the time to write a letter to someone even when I am exhausted beyond comprehension, or instead of watching a movie or a TV episode that I was looking forward to, prepare a care-package. I will stop in my extremely complicated or busy life because I LOVE THEM. Period. I don't have to think twice about it, because they are more important than anything this world could throw at me. It's that simple.

My friends, my family, my relationships with people come first in my life, because love and friendship are the only things that last. You can go through school and get a degree, get a job etc.., but eventually you will move on, retire, and die . Sara Groves makes the point in her song "Just One More Thing", that we often say "one more thing" or "I'm busy. We'll catch up later", when really, "at the end of your life, your relationships are all you've got".
Now, not everyone I know holds this up as their standard. They have other expectations and values, and that's fine.
But the above is mine. Love. Relationships. It all comes first for me. That applies to my relationship with God, and man. And for all of you reading this who I call my friend....know that  I love you unconditionally. I will do anything for you. I WANT to do anything for you.
But I would also like to ask you for something, especially since we are friends: I would love to have you call me, or write me, or visit me. It gets lonely being stuck at home most of the time. Very lonely. But if you do one of those things for me, you are saying "I love you and care about you and am thinking about you"....and that, in and of itself, is one of the greatest gifts you could ever give me.

So, for those of you out there struggling to deal with everything on your plate and are trying to choose between friends and homework, choose the people. You don't have to give up on the other things, because God says to be responsible and take care of what we are given, which includes schoolwork, sports practice, jobs, etc... But He also said the greatest thing is Love. So, who do you love? Do you show them that love? If not, then I'd encourage you to stop what you're doing and show it to them right now. You need to. You never know. They might really need it too.
One thing I do know, is that your life will seem much more fulfilling, and less like you're failing, missing the mark, getting behind etc..., if you use part of your time to focus on other people, and on being Christ and being Love to those people.

So, thank you Casey. You showed me love, even though you have college classes to study for. Even though you could have spent the evening with your family. You came and stayed with me even when I was in pain. You let me rest my head on your shoulder. You let me love you, and you loved me in return. I'm not going anywhere, and I thank God that he gave me someone like you to share my life with. We truly are sisters at heart, if not body.
And thank you Jess, for your visit on Saturday. You had a party you could have gone to. You have loads of homework for exams starting this week. But you planned extended time to drive all the way up to my house to spend a few hours with me, just because you wanted to be with me. You both have no idea how much those actions mean to me.

It's so hard to stay positive and happy and upbeat and others oriented when things are going so wrong for me. I'm not getting any better. Daily I'm getting worse. But knowing people love me, want to write letters to me, want to call me, and want to visit me...that all gives me hope...and I've been running a bit short on that as of late.
I don't necessarily know why you guys love me...or why you would want to. Why you would stick around and spend the time to do all that for me. But I know many of you do genuinely care. And for that, I thank you. I need it. And I need you.

Ok. So now I'm going to try to get some rest. I'm so dizzy. I'm in so much pain. I looked and felt so bad that my dad prayed over me tonight for healing. I'm just praying I can sleep. Sleep has eluded me for days, with only a few hours of blackouts keeping me going.
Your prayers are needed to. So thank you for that, too.

I love you all! If I could, I would come visit all of you college people's and give you hugs, make you laugh, and bring you Starbucks and care packages. If I could, I'd organize volunteer opportunities so we could all go and serve God and others while bonding and having a good time. If I of my most common phrases these days. If I could. But I can't.
So I'll just keep writing away on Musings, hoping that some of it is helping, encouraging, or entertaining someone, somewhere. I'll keep writing my letters to people, leaving voice messages that say "I love you", and praying constantly for my friends, their friends and family, and even complete strangers. Because that way, they will have someone, somewhere, loving them.

May my Lord of Peace, Endurance, and Comfort fill you this week. His Grace and Love are unending. Take hold of that, and never let go. His Hope is constant. Let it help you soar on "wings of eagles". Because when we choose to let this world's sorrows and burdens and stresses overwhelm us, we become earth-bound, unable to fly and be free, and see things from a "higher" perspective. But when we let God guide us and fill us, we can soar with the eagles, and be taken farther and to more beautiful heights than we ever thought possible.

Will you trust God and give Him your all this week?
Will you put down what you are doing and show someone love by calling them, writing them a letter, sending them a message on facebook, or visiting them?
Will you LOVE?

I hope you will.
It's worth it.
You're worth it.
They're worth it.
HE'S worth it.

Be Well, and Be at Peace.
I love you all!
-Rae <3


Casey Elizabeth Ruble said...

You're most welcome my dear. I greatly enjoyed our time together this evening! We will definitely be doing it more often. Now to write about you in MY blog post. :) Love you!!!

Rae Hitchings said...

Seriously? I'm going to be in your blog post? *sigh* Ok. :P
Love you mucho muchly!
We definitely need to do this more often. But it's good you left when you did. Think about my momentary lapses of pain and "blank stares" and multiply that by 10, and you've got my mildest symptoms right now. :( *sigh*
God provides though! And thankfully, one of those things is YOU! And another has been this blog! "I'm lovin' it" XD
And I'm loving you!
More hugs and snuggles next time, K? I liked that. ^_^

-Rae <3

Eleanor Roscuro said...

My God! Quote Of The Week! ME!!!!

God. I should stop saying God.

Wow. Thank you so, so much. I'm so glad I make you laugh! And think? Wow. This is amazing. What does transcribe mean? Wow. Ugh, I hate being incoherent.

Eleanor Roscuro

Rae Hitchings said...

Transcribe means to make a written copy, esp. a typewritten copy, of (dictated material, notes taken during a lecture, or other spoken material). Or to make an exact copy of (a document, text, etc..( =)
No problem!

And you are quite welcome!!!! I thought it would make you happy *chuckle*
So. When are you going to email me your address? I want to write you a letter! I'm sure you could use something to make you smile after some school day :) make me smile because you were so happy about being my first quote of the week ^_^ That makes it all worth it!

Rae <3

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