Sunday, September 12, 2010

Blogging and More Blogging - The Next Chapter

Well, it seems that I will be posting a fair amount these days.
And here is why.
One: My doctor gave me a sleep aid and had me double up on my narcotic, which I take every four hours. It's helped dull some of the pain...but amazingly enough, the hundreds of milligrams of pain killers still don't eliminate all of the pain. *sigh* I'm "surviving" though. Your prayers are still very much needed, and I will accept any and all you can give. Especially for my neurological test on Tuesday, and my IV therapy on Wednesday.
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Hardships, Hope and Drummond

Hello my people.
This could be my last post for a while or it could not. My health is deteriorating so fast that I can barely walk now, barely keep fluids down, and am close to a catatonic state because of pain despite my 4 strong prescription pain killers. Unless we get another pain killer added into the mix, and unless IV therapy works on Wednesday, I may have to be hospitalized. I'm starting to wish for morphine and supervised care. Yes. Me. The one who doesn't like to admit when she needs help and who wants to do everything on her own. I'm almost desperate for help, so you know things are bad.

One thing I've been struggling with the past couple weeks, and especially the past two days, is "why". Is this God's way of testing me to make me more like Him, to learn to depend on Him, to give Him my all? Or is he using the trials the Devil is putting me through to reach those same ends? If it is the Devil, then God must have some great purpose for me, as the Devil only goes to so much effort for so long if that is the case. I'm wondering what that purpose could be, because right now, my greatest achievement of the day is making it back up the stairs without blacking out.
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